Rejection. Nobody likes it, but everyone will and does experience it. No matter how great your relationships may be, at some point on the road of relationships you will get your feelings hurt, feel left out, not considered or flat out abandoned by someone you care about. It’s hard to take, and often leaves us with a resolve to protect our heart in attempts to not get hurt like that again. But is this the right solution? Think about it. This would mean never getting close to another and that leads us to isolation.
So what do we do when we experience rejection? While we have no control over how others treat us, we do have control over how we handle things or react when we get hurt.
Here are the three typical psychological responses a person might have:
Fight: You react; you engage or attack the other person not worried about the outcome. (“I hate you. You never pay attention to me.”)
Flight: You “run” or escape internally in order to protect yourself. (“If you don’t care, I just won’t talk to you.”)
Freeze: You act like nothing is wrong and keep your emotions to yourself. The rejection is kept inside which shuts down your emotions. (“Nothing’s wrong. I’m okay”.)
Or there is a fourth option: Focus: We can remember the truths of God and choose to focus on those truths instead of the initial feeling of rejection. Remember: whatever you magnify becomes the biggest influence in your life. Don’t allow others to define your truth and tell you who you are. Use God’s word to rewire your brain.
God’s truth says this…
“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.” Isaiah 53:3 (He knows how you feel!)
“He will never leave you or forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 (Our earthly relationships will always fall short, but not so with God.)
“This is my comfort and consolation in my affliction: that Your word has revived me and given me life”. Psalm 119:50 (God’s reviving comfort is available when experience rejection.)
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10 (You are chosen and loved by Him.)
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14 (God created you for a purpose. It is perfect and good.)
“So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” Matthew 10:31 (God loves you, you are valuable to Him and you are worthy of love.)
"So don't be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom”. Luke12: 32 (God has good gifts to give you even when others do not. You are never alone.)
Next time you experience rejection, turn to God and pour your pain out to Him. Allow His truths to soothe your heart and heal your wounds. Practice remembering His truths and watch your feelings be transformed!