It was over. I was done. After 18 years of marriage and trying everything, I knew to do, the relationship was dead, and I did not love my husband anymore. In fact, I felt so miserable that I daydreamed about him dying in a car wreck, so I would be out of my misery. I had rationalized that the kids would be fine, better off in fact if we divorced. My friends supported the decision. All that was left was to tell my husband.
BUT GOD…had me tell the one friend who said to me “Where in the Bible does it say you can leave your husband for the reason you want to?” I knew the scriptures and I could find none that supported my ‘well thought out’ decision. Now I really felt stuck. I figured, “Fine, I’ll obey God and be miserable for the rest of my life”.
BUT GOD…had another plan. In the miraculous ways He works in the everyday, He exposed me to Healing Prayer. First through my Pastor friend who spoke that truth into my heart and then through a client who I was seeing in my office. Healing Prayer is prayer that goes beyond psychology and through Holy Spirit gets to the very depths of hearts and minds, to bring about transformation in a way that I never knew could happen. (Romans 12:2; Isaiah 61:1-3). I had been a practicing Psychotherapist for 16 years at that point and I had seen some great things happen in people’s lives, but nothing touched what was about to happen in my heart and mind.
As God... did what only He can do and healed my heart; transformed my mind and humbled me through repentance of MY SIN in the marriage (can someone say, OUCH?), my marriage began the transformation process. The very things I had wished for, strived for and tried to manipulate and control to make happen in my marriage began to happen ‘naturally’. Words, actions, authenticity took shape first in me and then in my husband. As I respected him in the way God called me to, I began to receive the love that I had longed for all of my life; first from Jesus Himself, and then my earthly husband.
Jesus... the bridge builder; transformer and healer began healing me and then our marriage. As a pledge, at year 20 we renewed our vows. The very friend who confronted me in love, conducted the ceremony. The healing process continued for years, but the reconciliation was immediate. We are about to celebrate our 40th Anniversary, and enjoying our first Grandchild together. I would have missed the best years of our marriage if I had followed my own understanding.
And all that I thought brought ‘death’ to our relationship? Those very things have become anchors in our relationship and enhance our partnership with Jesus together, just as He ordained. Most of the things I despised in my husband, in our redeemed state, are the very things that now I treasure and help keep me grounded. Be careful of your ‘well thought out’ ideas. They may be fueled by the enemy of your soul instead of the ‘author of life and life abundant’. Obedience to God’s word, is always the first step to the way out of your predicament. As Mary cried out when the impossible seemed to be happening to her, may we cry out, too. “Nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:37)
(For more of the story, check out: “The Perfecting Storm” by Angel H Davis)