I recently spoke to a great group of college students and shared with them what I think is THE ‘key’ to good relationships…want to know what it is?
Mind renewal is the key. Why is this the key? Because all the coping skills in the world cannot hold up under stress. If all we have are coping skills, or ‘good behaviors’, then eventually they will break down. What is lasting and sustaining is to be “transformed into a new person by the renewing of the mind.”(Romans 12:2). This really does change things!
God wants to renew us so that our thoughts line up with His thoughts. Then we will naturally act in ways that are functional for our relationships. Our thoughts and actions will be in line with God’s truths. But remember that this is about YOU renewing your mind, not “fixing” your partner.
“The healing of our minds is also a path to healing the heart. Psychologists know that what we think becomes what we believe, which impacts how we feel and how we behave.”(p.121, The Perfecting Storm)
Below are some simple ways to begin renew your mind:
1. Meditate on and memorize scripture. God’s words are words of life! Really dig deep to understand His message and how it applies to your life.
2. Think on positive things. (Philippians 4:8) God is in the positive thoughts of your day. This is where you will start renewing your faith and hope in your relationships. You will give grace and mercy to the people you love. What a change this will make on you and your relationships!
3. Trust God’s love for you. (1 John 4:8) In that love, know that like a loving parent His ways are best for you. His word provides us with guidelines that ultimately lead to a richer relationship with Him and all our earthly relationships. So trust Him. It will be transforming.
4. Take your thoughts captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5). What are you thinking? Does it line up with God’s truth? Does it bring you life or cultivate negativity? Does it bring fruits of the Holy Spirit? If they aren’t moving you towards God’s truths, dismiss them.
We tend to think we have no control over our thoughts, but we do! We have a choice on what we focus on. Thoughts are powerful so make sure they are not destructive.
Choose to focus on the things of God. His truths. His character. His love. Focus on the One who created relationships and knows how to maintain them. Watch and see how the ‘key’ to good relationships works out. God’s ‘key’ is the RIGHT and only key. It’s not a quick fix, but it is a permanent one! So do the work, and watch a new and better life unfold.
Blessings and Love~ Angel